Project

“You are not a project to edit, revise, or update; you are a stroke survivor.”

Some people think that anyone who has had a stroke or any other kind of physical injury is a project.

Something to be managed and rehabbed like a house that needs renovations.

Except that isn’t the way it works. Stroke survivors are not “projects.”

It happened to another friend of mine.

They had a major stroke and ended up in a rehab facility. Suddenly, people with big plans showed up. They were going to get them moved to a better place. They were going to…well, the list was endless. And none of it happened. Not a single thing.

They sat for months in a rehab facility, with few visitors, surrounded by people who had lost their passion for life and just about everything else.  All they had were empty promises and the occasional visit from the people who made them.

I wasn’t in a position to help them. I was hundreds of miles away, dealing with my own recovery and taking care of my dad at the same time. When they needed something, I sent it, and a few surprises too. I felt terrible that I couldn’t do more.

Sadly, my friend died alone in that facility, still waiting for what they were promised.

Caregivers have a very stressful job. Some are amazing at it, but others act like the universe is punishing them somehow. Being a caregiver requires enormous patience and a ton of empathy. If you don’t have either, don’t do it. Please.

There’s great information here: Caregiver Challenges

The lesson I learned from all of this was that, as in other parts of your life, never promise what you can’t deliver.

And keep the ones you do.