“Trust yourself. You know more than you think you do.” – Benjamin Spock It’s hard to trust yourself after any trauma, including a stroke. Depending on the severity, you may have both physical and emotional challenges. It’s a lot to process. And none of it is easy. The old quote about falling off a horse and getting right back on doesn’t apply here. Leave the horse out of it. Focus only on what you can control and only the changes you can realistically make. Then trust yourse

“Being fake takes so much more work than being real.” -P. Paarmann You can probably think of a thousand fake things. Two big ones that come to mind are watches and handbags. Then there are people. That last one is a killer. Fake people are more common than you think. Politicians, public figures: the list is endless. They make money pretending to be one way when, in fact, they may be the exact opposite. Closer to home, you can see them coming a mile away. They are the ones wh

“The key to keeping your balance is knowing when you’ve lost it.” – Anonymous Losing your balance isn’t graceful. One minute you are walking confidently down the sidewalk, and the next you’re trying to avoid falling! And it seems like there’s always an audience. Sigh. While I was in the hospital, the physical therapist got me out of bed and took me for a walk down the hallway to check my balance. I was wobbly, but who isn’t 24 hours after a stroke? He didn’t see anything tha

“Being uncomfortable helps you appreciate comfort even more." – P. Paarmann Hospital beds are uncomfortable. I know they want you to get well and go home, but when you can’t get comfortable and the room is freezing, how is that possible? I guess if you get tired enough, you can sleep anywhere. When I was in the ICU, the most thoughtful gift I received was the bear in the picture above. A friend from Rhode Island sent it a few hours after I was admitted. I named her Hope. Havi

“Empathy is the bridge that connects hearts and minds.” – Daniel Goleman One of the hardest parts of surviving a stroke is that many of the changes are invisible. People around you may notice your physical recovery, but they can’t see the emotional, cognitive, and personality changes that happened literally overnight. Empathy isn’t something that everyone is capable of. Especially when they don’t understand what you are dealing with. The "you look fine, walk fine, so what’s t

“Be stronger than your excuses.” – Unknown Everyone has an excuse for something. Why they are late is a big one. Did you oversleep? Just say so. Don’t make up a Law and Order: SVU episode-length excuse. Just be honest. Excuses become some people’s reasons not to do anything. Or almost nothing anyway. They put off until the next millennium what they should have done 3 weeks ago, and always with an excuse or multiple ones. And they don’t seem to think you’re smart enough to se

“Needing support doesn’t mean you’re weak. It means that you’re human.” You shouldn’t have to ask for support after a stroke. But just because people should be attentive and offer support doesn’t mean they will, sadly. For some reason, many people think that since you survived the stroke, you’re home and you haven’t been admitted to a rehab facility, that you’re fine. No help needed. And they move on. But wait-what if you really do need help? What if everything isn’t “fine”

"Don't tell people your plans. Show them your results." – Anonymous Recovery starts with taking the first step(s). It all depends on the plan your doctors and therapist have put together for you. It may be getting out of bed and taking a walk, as my therapist did with me in the ICU. It could also be occupational or speech therapy. There are three stages to recovery. The first is from the day of your stroke through the first three months. That’s when there is the most progres

“Never forget that walking away from something unhealthy is brave.” – Mandy Hale There are lots of unhealthy things out there: lack of sleep, dehydration, and stress, to name a few. The biggest one, though, is food. Remember that saying, “You are what you eat”? That is so true. And before you dismiss that, consider these facts I wasn’t aware of until I had a stroke. High Blood Pressure is the cause of more than 50% of all strokes worldwide. Think about that for a minute. Tha

“The easiest way to rewire your mindset. Be happy!" After a stroke, the medical team constantly assesses your brain, heart, and physical health. They want to see where you are, what your obstacles may be, and how best to help you. They need to know what a therapist can help you with, if you need rehab center care, whatever your situation calls for. But there's one thing to keep in mind while they run all those tests: Your determination matters more than almost any test they c

“Efforts and courage are not enough without purpose and direction.” – John F. Kennedy I will never forget waking up in the ICU and wondering why I was still here. And why someone else wasn’t. Why? Because I got a second chance at life, and there was a reason. I had a purpose; I didn’t know what it was at the time. But I was going to find out. Purpose gives meaning to how you live your life and inspires you to move forward. Recovering from a stroke, you may be asking yourself

“You are not a project to edit, revise, or update; you are a stroke survivor.” Some people think that anyone who has had a stroke or any other kind of physical injury is a project. Something to be managed and rehabbed like a house that needs renovations. Except that isn’t the way it works. Stroke survivors are not “projects.” It happened to another friend of mine. They had a major stroke and ended up in a rehab facility. Suddenly, people with big plans showed up. They were go

“There is peace, even in the storm.” Vincent Van Gogh Having a stroke is anything but peaceful. It’s more like organized chaos. Your brain is frantic, trying to reconnect itself and you to everything. And you are powerless to help it. Your body is on a roller coaster ride from hell. The one that has more twists and turns than a mountain highway in Europe that I've seen pictures of. You want to get off, make it stop, something, but you can’t. You have to wait until the ride st

“For the most sensitive among us, the noise can be too much.” – Jim Carrey If you’ve walked into a store and the music was so loud you couldn’t think, if you’ve had a stroke, you probably left. Or never went in at all. Auditory and sensory overload is real. Loud noise can impact your focus, mood, and cause stress, irritability, and anxiety. This is not the “if it’s too loud, you’re too old” kind of noise. This kind of noise exposure can NEGATIVELY impact your stroke recov

“Being isolated doesn’t mean you have to be alone.” Feeling isolated isn’t uncommon for stroke survivors. It’s not that you really want to be alone. But dealing with things like aphasia, physical challenges, and being tired all the time can make you choose to pull away. Sometimes it just feels easier to be alone. I’ve felt that way many times. You want to think, breathe, and relax. But isolating yourself isn’t healthy, especially in the long run. Think about joining a local s

“Being healthy isn’t just about eating that way. Having a healthy outlook on life counts too.” When you hear the word healthy, it can make you want to be anything but. That’s not an option, especially after you’ve had a stroke. Face it, your health wasn’t that great before it, or you wouldn’t have had one. Over half of all strokes are caused by high blood pressure/hypertension. The sad thing? Many people don’t even know if they have it or are at risk. So they go about their

“Believe you can and you’re halfway there.” - Theodore Roosevelt Your mindset is how you view yourself and the world. After a stroke, many survivors are not the “same” person they were before. You may be less social, have less confidence, and find it harder to stay positive. Up to 57% of stroke survivors experience personality changes, including apathy, anger, depression, and grief. How can you keep your mindset focused on your recovery and moving forward? Be patient with y

Seven years ago today, I had a stroke that changed my life forever. I don't look at the world the same way; I don't feel the same, and in my eyes, I look a little different somehow. Almost dying changes you. Sitting here in the room where it happened that morning, looking at the same monitor, typing this post, I'm reminded of how much we take for granted. And how fragile life is. For the 33 months immediately following my stroke, I was a full-time caregiver to my Dad, ran a

“Your choices can change your life. Choose wisely.” – Peggy Paarmann We make around 30,000 choices a day. About 2,000 an hour. That isn’t a typo. Every choice we make defines us and who we are. Small ones, like what to eat for breakfast, or big ones like changing jobs or buying a car. When you make thoughtful choices, the outcome is usually positive. Snap decisions can take it in the opposite direction, and not in a good way. Up to 60% of survivors experience poor concentra

“Expect the unexpected. You’ll never be disappointed.” Every day something happens to me that I don’t expect. From the message on my Starbucks cup to the compliment I received today on the shirt I was wearing. My shirt says, “BE KIND.” And the woman behind me in line at the grocery store said that the whole world needs to wear them. I couldn’t agree more. Strokes are unexpected. Unless you get a warning like I did about having AFIB and ignore it. Then, I should have expected